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Publically Challenged

I would like to use today's file to showcase three classic examples of The Clueless in Social Situations.
If you have eaten in the last hour, I would recommend you digest your meal more fully before experiencing this piece of literary nausea.

One of the PCs had contacted his runner chummers and arranged a meet at a local grease bullet shop. Over Java and sugar rings at the Do-Not Donuts, he explained the job and the proposed payment. The group, after discussion (in a donut shop), decided to accept the job. During the discussion of the avenues for infiltration....

St. Sam No. 1: "I take out my gun and begin to attach the silencer."
GM: "You what?"
St. Sam No. 1: "I'm putting the silencer on my gun."
Shaman: "ahhhh Shit! I get up, run for the door, jump in my car, and take off."
GM: "You're in a donut shop."
St. Sam No. 1: "Yeah I know."
GM: "The young girl at the counter spots your gun, screams, and hits the panic button. A siren starts whooping. The customers start screaming, and run for the door in panic."
Mage: "I go invisible, and slide out the door with the customers."
Rigger: "I sneak into the bathroom, go into a stall, sit on the toilet, and start to read the paper."
PhysAd: "I scream "Oh my God! He's got a GUN! Someone help me!!!!"
St. Sam No. 2: "I grab the PhysAd, and try to drag her away "This woman has been shot! She needs a doctor!"

Eventually the gun-crazy St. Sam, after being on the losing end of the resultant shootout with two Lone Star cops (after all, wouldn't YOU expect to find cops near the donut shop?), was arrested and will spend the next ten years in jail.

Note to File: The above individual is a repeat offender in The CaseFiles. Can you guess which was his previous appearance? Correct answers will result in a personal commendation from The C.L.U.E. Foundation.

In a literal answer to the request in the Files' introduction for GM input, C.L.U.E. received the following:

This particular PC had the nasty habit of collecting used cyberware for extra cash, cutting it out of the cooling corpses of his victims. The stuff in turn was fenced through his Street Doc contact. However, the Street Doc ended up taking an "extended vacation" at one point. So, after 'acquiring' a bit of the newest tech, he arranges a meet with the team's regular fixer at a local bar. After arriving and sitting down next to the fixer:

Fixer: So, what have you got?
PC: I reach into my duffel and pull out that nice pair of cybereyes I got of that one punk, the Chiba model 308's with flare comp, and I set them on the table. GM: "Mike (the fixer) chokes on his soy beer, and glares at you fiercely. He then scans the bar to make sure no one is looking this way". PC: "I roll my eyes at him." GM: "You roll your.... Eyes.... At him?" PC: "Yeah, I roll them across the table and ask him "Know anyone who needs a pair of these?"" GM: The waitress who was behind you, just about to ask you if you were ready to order, sees a pair of eyes with bits of flesh hanging off them rolling across Table No. 5, screams, drops her tray with a resounding Crash."

Sometimes a joke has undesired results...

And finally...

The runners are marched into Mr. Garcia's office in chains. Dozens of monitors blare on the wall behind him.

"You gringos put on a wonderful show. Look Here" Garcia says, pointing to an image of the runners battling armored cars in an arena. "Today you sent the ratings through the roof" he beamed "tomorrow you fight El Diablo!"

"Frag you, you piece of drek" Deathblow spit at Garcia. The other runners tried to shut him up, to no avail. "I'm not fighting for your damned ratings unless I get a percentage!".

Mr. Garcia, after listening carefully to Deathblow's rant, held up his hand. "I'm terribly sorry, I completely forgot negotiations" he said politely. "Hector", he said, motioning to one of his guards, "have this Gringo beaten and sodomized, and then have him brought back to me"

As Deathblow is dragged off to his fate, Garcia turned back to the group. "I assume, of course, there will be no further need for negotiations?"

One of the keys to any social interaction is knowing when to speak, and when to keep your mouth shut....

Karen - karenmr@shadowrun.html.com

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