Are You Questioning Mah Authoritah?
Well, it seems like the Clueless do that a lot. Or at least, fail to respect or respond appropriately to such. Lone Star seems to be one of their larger problems. If your doubt this, please read on…
The run was simple… (Author's note: this phrase is becoming to the Clueless like 'Once upon a time' is to fairy tales).
Someone knocked off one of the group's favourite Johnsons (??) and the group was out for revenge. While two of the Sammies watched trid, the third went out to do legwork on locating the assassin.
Now, these Sammies took a lot of pride in both their home and their work. Throughout the place were framed newspaper clippings of their exploits, used and ripped-off (literally!) cyberware, their weapons, tools, everything was proudly displayed.
So PC#1 tracks down a witness of the killing, looking to get a description of the murderer. It seems the witness was the employee of a local card store. Christmas was fast approaching, and the store was full of customers buying Christmas cards, wrapping paper, etc. Ignoring them all, the PC shoulders his way to the head of the line and questions the harried shopworker:
Sammie: "Hi! I heard you witnessed the murder just outside the shop last night. Can you give me some information about it?"
GM: The girl looks very tense, on the verge of crying. She says "Sorry, we're kinda busy. I can't talk to you about it right now. Could you meet me after work?"
Sammie: OK, I pull out my Ares Predator.
GM: Several of the people in line closest to you scream and hit the dirt. The girl squeaks, goes white, and looks terrified. Alarms start ringing, and people scramble and beat it out of the store.
Sammie: oh yeah… alarms. I run.
GM: You make it out of the store just before several cops arrive.
Sammie: Good. I walk back in.
GM: (after a moment of stunned silence). OK
Sammie: "Hey guys! I just saw the robber run by me. I can identify him."
GM: The shopgirl points to you with a trembling finger. "That's him! That's the robber!"
Sammie: (looking confused as he remembers that she has seen his face). "Prove it!"
GM: The Star breaks out the security tape and run it. It's you all right.
GM: The Star frisks you, take away the rest of your weapons and equipment, march you outside, and put you in the back of their car. They ask you who you are, and where you live.
Sammie: I tell them.
PC 2&3: What????
Sammie: I give them my address and radio ahead to prepare an ambush.
GM: With the radio the police just took from you?
Sammie: Yeah, that one. Damn.
End result, the Star proceed to the home of the unsuspecting other two players. Once they stop, the Sammie says he gets out of the back of the police car to attack them, hopefully to cause enough noise to warn his chummers, only to be reminded that there ARE no door releases in the back of a police car! So, his chummers are all caught totally unprepared, and eventually go to jail with roughly 20 counts of Murder One, Robbery, Arson, Possession of Stolen Goods, ad infinitum, ad nauseum.
Smooth Jake, a character totally built on flamboyant theatrics meant to impress, returns to the scene of his crime, which is now under heavy investigation. Cops are everywhere, going over everything with a fine-toothed comb looking for clues. Jake smiles and walks confidently towards them, looking for his bike that for reasons we won't get into, had been left behind. He finds it, unfortunately chained to a post as police evidence. A bored looking cop stands nearby. Jake walks up to him purposefully.
Cop: "Can I help you?"
Jake: "Yeah. Why is my bike locked up?"
Cop: "Because it's evidence for our investigation."
Jake: "No. It's not. It's my bike."
Cop: "Do you have proof of that?"
Jake: "No… I haven't loaded it onto my credstick yet."
Cop: "Well, that's… unfortunate. But, you know, I might take your word on it for a hundred nuyen."
Jake: "WHAT? THAT'S MY BIKE AND I WANT IT NOW!"
Cop: "That's really unfortunate. I find the machine has been re-evaluated to two hundred and fifty nuyen."
Jake: "No way in Hell!"
The cop calls over one of his buddies, they discuss the situation, and finally decide that the bike is a rare collectors edition that would be worth about five hundred nuyen, each. Jake is appalled.
Jake: (to GM) "I'm gonna pull back my trenchcoat and start reaching for my Uzi III."
GM: You KNOW that there are, like, four or five squad cars here, right?"
Jake: "Yeah. I can take em! Grrrrrr…"
Spectator: "Oh my GOD! HE'S GOT A GUN!"
So, Smooth Jake spends the night in prison being chased by a Troll named Bruiser, who had a tattoo that said:
"Call me but(t) love" - Shakespeare
Note to File: It is a sad state of affairs that this column's subject meshes perfectly with next month's offering. After all,, since I started my new session on April Fool's Day (game time), I should have expected something…
Tune in next month (and don't forget your barf bags) for Authoritah, Part Two, "Screw You Guys, I'm Going Home."
Ciao for Now,
Karen - email@example.com