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Relatively Speaking...

This CaseFile contains a prime example of how the Clueless spread their insidious infection to the Shadows. Evolution has provided some of this breed with a thin veneer of normalacy, such camoflage making it possible to drag down those with Clues into the festering pit of Cluelessless awaiting the unwary. Heed this cautionary tale Gentle Readers - for your own sake!

A runner group had made an enemy of a small Corp by 'liberating' some experimental firmware. This Corp. had identified one of the runners (the Sammy) and, in order to retrieve their property, had the Sammy's father kidnapped. The Corp Johnson then called the Sammy, and told him to "be at this address if you ever want to see your father alive again". The Sammy frantically calls his contacts/family, and ascertains that his father is indeed missing. He calls his chummers and they make the meet.

Unfortunately, the Sammy was running dangerously low on Clues. We go now to a "blow-by-blow" account, as submitted by one of the players in this sordid story.

GM - "You arrive at the address. It's a four story apartment building. The voice indicated an apartment on the 3rd floor".
Sammy - "Fine. I draw my Predator. We go in and proceed to the apartment door. We listen at the door."
GM - "Good. You hear nothing."

It was right about now that the Clues ran out.

Sammy - "I kick in the door".
GM - "What?"
Sammy - "I kick in the door."
GM (stunned silence for 3 seconds). "OK, the door bursts open."
Sammy - "We go in. What do we see?"
GM - "It's a small, bare apartment. The only furniture in the living room is a metal folding chair. In the chair is a middle-aged woman in a suit".
Sammy - "I kick her"
GM - "What?"
Sammy - "I use my Unarmed Combat - Martial Arts - Kicks. I use all my combat pool. I kick her"
GM - (more stunned silence). "OK, roll". Dice hit the table. "Your round -house kick catches her in the side of the head. It does physical damage. She sprawls on the floor, unconscious. She looks seriously hurt". This was followed by a "Hummm", which most players who have a clue know is the GM deciding if he kills the character tonight or not.
Sammy - "OK. Do with windows have curtains?"
GM - "Excuse me. What?"
Sammy - "Curtains. Do the Windows in the apartment have curtains?
GM - (tentatively) "Yes"

By now the other player and I were wondering what we should be doing. We didn't like the way this was progressing. The player running the Sam seemed to have a plan, and he was talking very confidently like he know what he was doing, so we went along.
Sammy - "I use my Bowie knife to cut the curtains into strips. I tie the woman's hands behind her back, and I tie her ankles to her wrists".
GM - "OK - she's hog-tied".
Sammy - "I splash water from the sink on her to wake her up"
GM - "She wakes up. "Who are you?""
Sammy - "Where's my father?"
GM - "What"
Sammy - "Where's my father?"
GM - "I don't know what you're talking about"
Sammy - I slap her. "Where's my father?"
GM - "I don't know what you mean."
Sammy - "I grab one of her fingers. I bend it backward until it snaps. I ask her 'Where's my father?'"
GM (more stunned silence) "She says 'I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just a temporary secretary. I was just told to come here and deliver a message'"
Sammy - "I don't believe her. I slap her some more. Break a few more fingers.
GM - "Does your character have the Interrogation or Intimidation skill?"
Sammy - "No. I have no Social Skills". Everyone in the room agreed with him.
GM - "Fine, fine. The woman, in tears, is sobbing in pain. She says in a weak voice that she is a professional temporary secretary and her service sent her over for this one night job and all she was told to do was deliver a message."
Sammy - "I still don't believe her. Is she wearing shoes? I take off her shoes".
GM - "OK OK OK. You all hear a noise at the door. In the doorway is a man in a dark, tailored suit. He looks like a Johnson.
Sammy - "Now we're getting somewhere. I kick him" (the room is now filled with groans).
GM - Alright Already. You wrestle him to the ground and tie him up.
Sammy - "Where's my father?"
GM - "We have your father. He is safe. We would like to...'"
Sammy - "No deals. Tell me where he is."
GM - "You must co-operate if you want him to remain unharmed"
Sammy - I take out my gun and hold it to his head. 'Tell me where he is'"
GM - "If you kill me, you'll never see your father alive again".
Sammy - tI yell "You Bastard" and pull the trigger ( at this time the player has a triumphant grin on his face).
GM - "I can't believe it. You killed the Johnson"
Sammy - (still grinning) "Yeah. That will show them who they can boss around and who they cant"
GM - "Yeah... but you killed him BEFORE he told you where your father is..."
Sammy - *!@))$*&!!!

Gentle Readers, it is my advice to the Unfortunate player who submitted this that he seek immediate help. Cluelessness CAN be infectious.

Karen - karenmr@shadowrun.html.com

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