Quentin Mallory was a young, undeniably brilliant theoretical thaumaturgist
of the Pythagorean school, who effortlessly mastered the intricacies of magical
mathematics and post-quantum physics. Mallory's doctoral theses for MIT&T
set a record as the move thought-provoking, ground breaking, and utterly
useless thaumaturgical text to ever be written. In exceedingly bad taste,
Mallory went on to have the text mass-produced and sold as an advanced textbook
on chronothaumaturgical mathematics and physics.
Mallory spends an incredible 1,917 pages proving, through precise and mind-bending
multi-dimensional mystical mathematical formulae that sorcery as we know
it cannot warp time or space. To compound the utter uslessness of this gargantuan
paperweight, described by many students as "Spinecrusher, Breaker of Souls,"
it concludes with a motley of the most inane and ill-conceived magics ever
invented. Most infuriatingly, according to Mallory's arcane computations,
each of them should work perfectly.
These spells (all at Force 2) include:
analyze black hole
detect alternate timeline
detect space/time fold
detect time travel
measure speed of light
Many students suspect professors assign this book to encourage them to develop
and utilize levitate spells, or for basic exercise.
Publisher: MIT&T Press
Availability: 4/24 hours